Kathy Rowell

TESTIMONIAL J, for Kathy Rowell using EMDR Therapy

I had several childhood experiences, which to me were still very much alive. One experience occurred when I was aged 5. I am now 47. These memories had been around without any issues much of the time but once triggered they were there to stay. I found I was re-living these past experiences on a daily basis and I knew that, without professional help, I would not be able to leave them in the past where they belonged. Some mornings it was a struggle to get out of bed.

I am lucky that I had already appreciated the benefits of counselling, having had stress therapy several years before which was very beneficial to me. I checked out some details on the internet (www.emdr.org.uk). I made an appointment and have not looked back.

The initial consultation session verified that this was the type of therapy I was most likely to benefit from. My therapist was extremely kind and comforting and was very easy to talk to. I took home a couple of questionnaires to complete, which my therapist scored on the following session. The scores were all indicative of past 'traumas', which were only small but very important to me.

On the second session, I was introduced to the EMDR equipment. It takes the form of a horizontal bar, which stands on a tripod and has small light bulbs all the way across it. The lights move back and to across the bar and you follow the lights with your eyes.

The treatment can also be carried out by using headphones, with the machine emitting a sound in one ear and then the other, or hand-held where the machine emits a pulse in one hand and then the other. I preferred to close my eyes and hear the sounds through the headphones - I felt it easier to concentrate that way but everyone is different.

My therapist helped me identify my 'safe place', eg something nice to bring to mind during times of feeling distressed - for me it was ducklings on a lake in the sunshine. Taking deep breaths is very helpful, and also keeping a small bottle of smelling salts to hand.

The therapy takes into account your feelings as to the event(s) for which you are undergoing EMDR. It is an essential part of the therapy to re-visit stressful situations, which can feel uncomfortable. My therapist monitored me very closely and I was never in a situation which I couldn't cope with. I had some physical feelings as a result (I felt rather twitchy at times) but it is an important part of the therapy and I discussed these feelings in detail with my therapist. It was amazing to notice that the physical feelings diminished as the therapy sessions progressed and I started to feel better.

I feel much more confident now. I feel that I have more room in my head than I had before as a result of the jumble of thoughts having been filed away. I have found that I have more capacity to work effectively and that I have definitely 'calmed down' over the course of the treatment. I no longer get into the shower each morning immediately burdened by troublesome thoughts and experiences.

I had 10 sessions in all. On finishing it was important to me to know that the 'door is always open' so if I feel the need to see Kathy again I can do so.